As usual, Christmas arrives whether I am ready or not. Whether I am able to handle it or not. Whether I am in control of my feelings or not. And as usual, I’m okay. Thank you for your kind and funny and thoughtful comments.

I don’t have unreasonably high expectations for Christmas, as many people do, or a desire to make everything happy or perfect or just the way I remember. I don’t retreat to the attic to weep over my “ruined” holiday, as my mother did one year. I am good at letting things unfold, at embracing the bitter that comes with the sweet. But I am not so good at fending off the faded reminders of things that make me sad, at least not at Christmas. I tend to feel like I am standing knee-deep in some strong undertow, and it takes a lot of work and energy to stay upright.

But here I am, back on shore. My feet still hurt from those final few days at work, and I could use a week off. But I had a wonderful day with Judy and her family, laughing and relaxing and giving and receiving.

See the lovely (but blurry, sorry) picture of the hearth in Judy’s living room? All the stockings hung with care? Wait a minute, what’s that bag? Why, that’s my Christmas stocking, the stand-in for the lovely hand-knit one that I left back at home. I remembered everything else, but not my own stocking. Humbug (for a minute, until I couldn’t help but laugh).

T. loved her Feather and Fan scarf. When I can, I’ll post pictures of the other scarves I’ve been working on. One got away, but L. will surely let me take a picture of it one of these days. I made her a simple white lace scarf with a strand of Elann Baby Cashmere and a strand of Crystal Palace Kid Merino. It’s really pretty, and it looks wonderful on her. I’ve just finished a farrow rib scarf in Patons SWS, and I’m working on the final scarf of the gift quartet, another farrow rib in Blue Moon Pink Granite (one of the sock club yarns) and Kid Merino.

My next knitting job is to put the finishing touches on a bag for my mom. I’m hoping to get down to see her in a week or so, and she’ll get her Christmas present then.

After that, I can turn back to my own meandering knitting path. I have a few plans, nothing set in stone. I have a Red Scarf to finish (or re-do, really), and there are a few pairs of socks that are almost done. A scarf or two, a long-neglected lace shawl, nothing pressing. I’ve decided that there are a few unfinished projects that will be sent to the frog pond in a bit — I’ve lost interest in those Hippy Crunchy Blue Moon socks, for one thing. If I’m not attached or too invested in something, I’d rather free up the yarn for a project that I really care about.

Some of my plans for next year will just make me happy, and others will stretch my skills. At the top of the list: I would like to become One with the Reeves wheel. That will take some time, but I’ve got it. The days are growing longer, winter means more quiet time, and I can’t wait to settle down with my wheel and some of the lovely fibers I’ve been collecting.

All in good time. Right now I need to recuperate from everyone else’s shopping frenzy, and get my little home back in order. There will be plenty of time for knitting and spinning before long.