Bingo is dangerous

Published on by Jane

Ah, friends. What a time. I wish I could write about all the wonderful knitting inspiration I’ve been experiencing, or the fantastic book I can’t put down. How about … nope. The thing is, I’m preoccupied with another chapter in the saga of the frail mother whose health keeps taking a turn.

Last week my mom was getting ready for her afternoon Bingo game (her favorite part of the day) and she fell and broke her femur (thigh bone). The only reason she didn’t break her hip was that it still had the pin in it from two years ago. So now she’s recovering from surgery (more metal holding her together) and will be moving to a nursing facility for rehab. Again. Each event takes a little more out of her. She’s stoic, so I will be too, but it’s hard.

When I emailed my friend Judy to tell her the news, she wrote back, “They shouldn’t let old people play Bingo.” I’ll second that.

Our family has gotten past the “rush to be at her side” sort of thinking. Within hours of something like this, we are mobilizing and planning who will come when, and for what part of the recovery, and for how long. We coordinate our schedules, make our reservations for plane or hotel, and act. We’re pros.

But I’m left feeling like a puddle of daughter-ness. Exhausted at work, distracted, a little weepy at odd moments. Thank goodness for the dysfunctional family that is my staff! They’ve been wonderful. Until I can go to my mother — until it’s my turn — I have things to do here. I’m hoping that today, in this new week, I’ll get to work and face it and get on with it.


I’ll be driving to Maryland on the 19th. Between now and then I do have some nice knitting to keep me company. This is a scarf pattern I’m working up for Spirit Trail Fiberworks. The yarn is a cashgora-merino blend. It is so soft and so warm and so nice to knit with that the experience is like one of those Calgon Moments. I’m also knitting another pair of KR Hedgerow socks for one of the Remarkable R’s. The model will get to have the originals, but the stylist needs her own pair too. They’re of the same beautiful blue yarn as my Delicato Mitts.

Everything will be all right, I know it will. Everything will be different — for my mother, for me, for our family — and I know that, too. The tricky part is the navigating between now and then.


22 thoughts on “Bingo is dangerous”

  1. So sorry to hear about your mum. It is a worry when they get older. We have my MIL living in the wing of our house to keep an eye on her ( she is frail and diabetic) and my mum is off to hospital today to have a pacemaker fitted. I hope your mum recovers soon form her injury 🙂

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  2. Sending you lots more good lovin’ thoughts, sweetie. May the time between now and then settle down as softly as that cashgora and wrap you up just as warmly.Hugs

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  3. I hope it will not be too bad for your mother and you. I wish her a speedy recovery.My mom has been in hospital for 9 weeks now. I only get to call her every day.

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  4. Courage my dear. We will all get through this. In 2006 my mom developed heart failure, got better, relapsed, had a pacemaker fitted a month later, got better, broke her hip on Easter morning, had it replaced, got better…..My dad has dementia so I had to go take care of him while she was in the hospital and rehab. Meanwhile, I had a son strung out with major depression here in the island, bouncing from medication to medication, and another son gearing up to audition into college. I didn’t think I would make it but, things are stable again: son is better, mom and dad are managing on their own, other son is happy in his choice of schools.That being said, I’m resigned to the fact that with elderly parents, I am just enjoying a breather between crises. The scary thing is this: how many daughters our age do you know that are developing health issues of their own? Who will take care of the parents when we crash out?

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  6. I’m sorry to hear about your mother. It’s so hard to stay away and wait your turn, and you want to be there when she needs you. Sounds like you love your mom alot and I’m sure she knows it.

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  7. Super scarf – sure would look nice on the new Knit Picks wooden needles 😉 I ordered some of them to try….It is so hard to be away from a person you love when they are ill or hurting – you know i am here if you need me…I agree – Bingo is dangerous . .

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  8. I was in your store yesterday with a gift card burning a hole in my pocket. Splurged on Pools. Had to have it. Couldn’t keep looking at it longingly. (Must do penance for all the times I mocked it. Before I opened it. Who knew that pools were not a shallow subject?)So sorry about your mom, and know the hollow, weepy feeling. Good thing it’s September! xox

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  9. You have many families who think of you: your blood family, your work family, your friendly family, and your knitting family. Big hugs!

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  10. Oosh, I’m so sorry about your Mom’s leg! That must hurt so much. I hope she heals well and that you all take care of each other over the next few weeks.

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  11. You and your mother are in my heart, thoughts and prayers. I hope it brings some comfort to know that your knitting family is here. Love Ya!

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  13. It seems like you just got to take a breath and bam, you get hit again. I hope your mom is feeling ok, and I’m glad there are others to help you take care of her. It’s hard to be away when you’re worried. I’m not looking forward to that chapter in my life, the taking care of my mom and my FIL. Not together. You know what I mean. I guess it would have been worse if it happened over the summer when you were working your tail off! Take care of yourself.

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  18. I am so sorry to hear of your Mom’s latest injury.I can very much relate to your concerns, Jane, since I lost my Mom just one month ago at not quite 81 years of age. We didn’t even know she had problems; just gone in a flash from a heart attack. Taken so quickly from us that it was such a shock.I had envisioned what you are going through now with your Mom. I so feel your pain and worry. I would have been there too. Just take every day as it comes and hold those memories dear to your heart. If you can, and she is willing, let hr talk about all her memories and drink them in. They are truly precious.Do take care, Jane. With you and your Mom in my thoughts …

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  20. Jane I’m so sorry to hear this latest news. Please give a call when you’re here if you have a minute. I would love to see you, and … it might be a cheerful break for you. 202 547 2635.Much love to you!

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  21. oh dear – i am so sorry to hear of your mother’s injury – and yet i am glad that the whole family is rallying to be there.may she heal quickly from this nasty fall.if i was closer i’d give you a big bear hug. i totally understand the alternating moments of work busyness and tearfulness

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  22. Ouch! I’m sorry to hear that your Mom broke another bone. I hope that she recovers swiftly and that you two can do some cheerful things soon. Sheesh. *shivers*

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