Too much

Published on by Jane
Hydrangea Neck Warmer in Gobi

Too much winter makes me cranky. Snow on snow, colder and colder. The days may be growing longer, but they just begin to feel endless. A cold has kept me home for a couple of days, though, and I’ve been knitting and making soup and trying to pull myself out of the pit I seem to be in. I think I see the way out, but I still have a climb ahead of me.

Simple Baktus in Cormo/Mohair

Watching Annabelle as she fades is hard, but I don’t really realize it until something in her behavior changes. She likes the idea of eating more than her body wants food. I open a fresh can, offering her whatever she wants, just in case she does want to eat. She peers at it, sometimes taking a bite, sometimes not. She knows best, and I’m trying to listen to her.

Of course I don’t want her to go, but I am determined not to keep her here longer than she needs to be. I don’t want to think about daily life without my little sentinel, but I must. I’ve accompanied many beloved pets to the end of their lives, and yet I don’t feel prepared for it now. I look at Annabelle and think that I’m so grateful to her, to this little soul more than any other, for watching over me when I was sick.

A is for Annabelle

This little buff tabby has been a good lesson for me, with her affectionate distance and obvious sense of her own self. She’s always been this way; the minute I saw her contemplating me from across the room in the ARF adoption center, I knew she had been sent to me.

Until it’s time for her to go, I’ll be keeping her as close as she will allow, and listening.

22 thoughts on “Too much”

  1. Beautiful projects. My Wilsy was like Annabelle. She was able to decide when she went, fell asleep in the sun….just like she decided everything else 🙂 like who held her, when they held her, what you fed her, if she noticed you – a cat on her own terms!

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  2. honey my merry the tabby went exactly the same way… the whole interested but really not eating thingshe sat on me and stared at my faceit just broke my hearti am so very sorry that annabelle is coming to her time. i guess this means she's taught you all she can with this life….. she's about to hand you over to your next feline teachershe'll watch over you though, i do know that

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  9. Jane, you and Annabelle are in my thoughts and in my heart. There is something so magical in the bonds between humans and their companion animals. I wish it didn't hurt so. . . because there is so much love. . . and it's So Good. May you find peace in the small things these days, dear Jane.

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  10. Why are buff tabbies always so special? I've never met one who wasn't smart and fascinating. I'm so glad you're there for Annabelle, and that she's been such a wonderful companion to you. I know we're approaching that point with Kaio, and it's so difficult. If only they came with reset buttons.

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  11. Jane, we have been having a rather tough winter as far as weather goes, haven't we? I so feel for you in dealing with the decline of a beloved companion. There is no easy way. All you can do you are already doing. Just loving her. Being there for her when she wants it. Cats are so danged independent!When our dog Sailor was failing we gave him anything to eat that he wanted which included vanilla ice cream cones from Dairy Queen and he loved his chicken nuggets from the value meal at McDonalds. Cats are not so easily appeased! One thing I found that always worked and was easily digested was human baby food. Cats and dogs alike would eat that when they would eat nothing else. Just a tad bit warmed, any of the chicken, veal or beef varieties might entice Ms Annabelle to eat just a little.Many hugs to you to you both. My heart is with you.

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  12. Oh, Jane. Such is this winter of discontent … and the weather sure isn't helping. Please feel better. I will wish upon you some avgolemono soup. We call it Greek penicillin. As for the rest, I have no prescription, only sympathy.

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  14. Such a sad time for you, all we pet lovers been there and know how it hurts. Sending good wishes to you and Annabelle, hope you both find strength and peace.

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  15. Beautiful projects, Jane. For the last year, I've been on this road with my 13-year old border collie. A year ago, we thought we'd be losing him any day, but he rallied and has had a great winter so far. Still…at 13, we know our time is limited, and we lovingly let him deal with the world on his own terms. I will never, NEVER be ready for him to go, but I pray I'll know when he is ready.

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  16. Your knitted goodies look warm and soft, and should help a good bit with managing the cold. It can't last forever, it just seems that way, sometimes.I'm very sorry that your dear friend and companion is preparing to leave you. Having lost one of my own a few short months back, I know what you are feeling. Your memories will keep her with you for always, and somehow I believe she knows this. My best to you both.

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  17. Your Annabelle is one special kitty. My sweet boy had to leave me in October -he was ready- I wasn't.You will always have her in your heart.KnittingKittens

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  19. Jane, I am very sorry to hear about your sweet Annabelle. It is so difficult to say goodbye to any creature (human or otherwise) that has seen us through difficult times. So many of the other comments have said it more beautifully than I can, but you both are in my heart.Elizabeth

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  20. Just chiming in to say how good it is to read you again, and to suggest it might be a good time to read (or re-re-read) James Herriot. I just finished the 4th book. He's especially good on cats, I think. Honesty that somehow comforts. xo Kay

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  22. Annabelle is lucky to have you. Just as you are lucky to have her. Two females looking out for and loving each other. Cats and knitters have a special bond. Will be thinking of you and Annabelle in the days to come.

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