I’ve begun taking walks. For me, they are “serious” walks, around and around the upstairs track at the local recreation center. It has been a very, very long time since I’ve felt able to take a real walk.
Most mornings I put on my walking shoes and meet my friend Rho. We walk a mile or a mile and a half, or whatever. I’m increasing the distance as I gain stamina, but in the end, I don’t care how long or far we go. My goal remains just walk.
This morning I was alone, since Rho had to do an early errand. I pulled up The Weepies on my iPhone, and I walked until my knee told me to stop, and until my numb toes began making that slap-slap sound with each step. Then I went back downstairs and drove to the nursing home to see Judy’s mother, who greeted me with “Hello! You have a nice life.”
I don’t want much. I want the stamina, I want to burn calories, I want to get my lymphatic system moving. I want to find the thing that I think walking will bring me: some clarity to my morning that might carry me through the day. And I want that nice life, too.
Not Plain Jane 
I know this feeling so well. I wish there were more “you’re cured, now go live a normal life” help, because it is sorely, sorely, needed. I feel like I keep taking two steps forward and being pushed one and a half back. But I keep taking those two forward, and that’s what really counts, isn’t it?
Love you.
LikeLike
Yes, my sweet, it is.
LikeLike
I’m there with you. I feel like I should be feeling perfect since I have been cancer free for 5 years. But once you go through the treatments and then the after treatments (tamoxifen in my case) your body is never really the same. I am starting my walking this afternoon after work and I will be thinking of you.
LikeLike
Yes, it just goes on, and we do the best we can. Have fun walking!
LikeLike
You do have a nice life. Isn’t it funny that it was my mother, in the state she is in, to point it out? I think I’ll start walking too – starting tomorrow as long as it is not raining. I could use some calorie burning and clarity myself. Which all contributes to that nice life.
LikeLike
Jane, thanks for this post-it spoke to me and was just what I needed to hear.
All the best,
KnittingKittens
LikeLike
Walking is a good way to find much of what you seek. The road back can be difficult for many of us and I’ve found walking to be a good beginning.
LikeLike