I started a new scarf last night. It’s not that I don’t have any knitting going on, but that this skein of yarn has been calling to me. It’s Sundara’s Aqua over Terracotta sock yarn, given to me by my friend Kris. He had an extra. It sat at the corner of my desk for a few weeks, where I could keep an eye on it. Finally, the right pattern came along — Anne Hanson’s lovely Rivolo scarf.
I think this is one of Sundara’s most beautiful colors, and of course I’m incapable of capturing it. When she dyes a color and names it Something Over Something, I pay attention. I do have a lot of her yarn in my stash, but I don’t hold on to it just because it’s precious. I knit with it, as often as possible. I just don’t understand the current (Ravelry-fueled) atmosphere of stalking and hoarding and collecting, of complaining about her update process or her website, of being jealous of people who purchase any, let alone enough for a project… it’s just yarn. Beautiful yarn, often stunningly so, but still just yarn. It’s meant to be used.
Moving on now… Radiation treatments continue, and so does the plain pair of socks that have accompanied me on most of my medical adventures this summer. I’m at the heel of the second sock, so one of these days I’ll be done. With the socks and the medical adventures.
This particular adventure — radiation — is not all that hard to tolerate, but I am worn out. Fatigued. I have fatigue the way you have a cold, or a sprain, or some other condition. It’s real (I always thought of it as something I had to power through), and it’s not like being tired or sleepy. It’s as if I can go forward, but only on low speed. Strange, but annoying. The other side effects are just plain annoying.
I’m getting lots of rest and eating really good food (protein! fruit & veggies! water!), and that helps. I’m also going to work for a few hours each day, which is good for my spirits. I’m just bobbing along with the current. In a few weeks it will be time to start chemo, which will put other stresses on my system, but I’ll be ready.
Bit by bit, row by row, I’m getting there. I can’t see the other shore just yet, but I know it’s there!