I’ve always had a hard time fitting in. Aside from my own little tribe of siblings, I had no group to belong to, no community when I was young. I made a terrible Girl Scout, and I didn’t make friends easily. I felt outside, never in. As I grew older, a gradual shift occurred, beginning in college. At last, a place I belonged! Well, sort of. I was scared and insecure. I held back.
Years passed and I noticed a further shift; I had connections to small communities of weavers or spinners or journal-writers, places I felt I fit in, and people didn’t blink an eye as they included me. How strange! I was still insecure, just not so scared.
Now here I am, nearly fifty-two years old, and I marvel at how comfortably I fit in. I have friends and communities, things to do and opportunities to seize, and doors to open. Lucky me!
When I stop to think about the terrible events at Virginia Tech, my sadness comes from way down deep, from where my own loneliness, fear, and isolation used to live. I can’t let myself imagine how it must have felt to face the man with the gun, or to be the man with the gun.
All I can do is wish that Peace will come and comfort everyone who has been hurt.
Not Plain Jane 