It’s over, and I made it to shore. There was a strong undertow, though. I had a long week. A long, long week. And no day off in the middle. The rainy forecast meant it would be a busy weekend at the bookstore, so I planned for almost everything. But I couldn’t plan for half the staff falling ill, struggling to come to work, or being unable to make it at all. Everybody gave all they had. On Saturday afternoon, as I was beginning the mental countdown to the hour when I could get in my car, go home, and not set foot in the store again till Tuesday, I realized that I was going to have to come back and work the closing hour and a half. Yes, it was a looonnnng week.

I found out something interesting about myself, too: allowing those moments — of whining, of numbness, of confusion — made it easier to stand up to the challenges of each day. I needed those five minutes in the back room to cry into the box of books, so I could move on. I was glad to have Judy to complain to, and glad that she let me. I needed to the reality checks from C, my amazing coworker/buyer/wise guy (His mantra by Friday: “Gonna do?”). I treasured those emails and cards from Rho. A little wallowing is not a terrible thing. And another thing I found out: I had a stash of stamina tucked away somewhere. Who knew?

I did get to the PO on Friday to pick up my Petals Collection package. Oh, wow. It’s beautiful. I also received the second ball of Bamboo sock yarn from Carodan Farm, so Life is good.

The middle of the week contained a Big Lesson. Of course the last thing I wanted was another Big Lesson, but you can’t control these things, and I suppose that’s the point. I lost my phone and internet on Tuesday, when the landlords switched to the cable company’s phone service. The cable guy, better known as The Doofus, removed all traces of my phone line. Dead and gone. It took two more technicians till Thursday night to restore it.

What did I learn? That I do, indeed, prefer the predictable. I do like to be in charge of certain things. And if I sit just right on my couch, lean toward the window and over to the right a little, I can get two bars on my cellphone that last for about ten minutes before the call is dropped.

This was a situation that I could do nothing about. I had to wait. I didn’t need to be patient, because it was a total screw-up from the very beginning, but there weren’t any irate calls for me to make, no threats to the cable company, no demands or ultimatums. That was someone else’s job. I just had to wait. I was beside myself, so what did I do? I spent more time at work. The current had me by then.

Can you tell by my typing that I am soooo tired I can’t think straight? Maybe not, thanks to Spell Check. I had quite the busy day today. I took a nap, and I worked on these:

Yep, brownies and a linen hand towel. That’s it. Oh, and a load of towels made it all the way through the washer and the dryer, and they even got folded and put away.

And tomorrow I get to have another day just like this one!

10 thoughts on “Undertow

  1. slog on thru the dark and the rain dear Jane. You’re coming down the home stretch!!!And a good bout of 15 minutes of whining and tears is good for everyone. It clears the senses so that once again we may laugh at the absurdity of humanity.Your linen towels are spectacular – remember that is what is real.


  2. Hang in there!! Losing connectivity in the midst of such a crazy week would’ve done me in… Nothing wrong with standing in the bathroom and letting loose a primal scream or two. 🙂


  3. can relate to “I do, indeed, prefer the predictable.” I do too, but life has other lans sometimes. hang in there and share your discomfort (emotional or physical):”A sorrow shared is but half the trouble, but a joy shared is a joy made double.”the linen towel is fantastic. what kind of linen is it?


  4. I’m always amazed to find out how strong and resilient I really am – and you, dear not plain Jane, are MIGHTY, you really are, to allow yourself the five minutes it takes to vent your spleen in the midst of retail madness.When I worked in retail I learned how to say “Kill them all” in seven different languages. My favorite was Wolloff (sp?) the native language of west Africa. I loved looking out over the sea of customers and saying this phrase loudly, knowing probably not a one of them would know what I was saying.We do what we have to. Onwards & upwards to fall!


  5. Sweet Jane,Honey bunny, altho’ you feel tired & confused, your post makes the most perfect, glorious sense.”Yes!” to whatever helps you make it through the night & the daytime too. You have helped to inspire me as I slogged through my summer & I thank you for that.Way to go, girlfriend. You did it.And re no internet connection or phone for a while – me too re the computer connection. It’s been spotty at best & a challenge most of the time.XOXO


  6. Congratulations on making it through the week, and it sounds like it was a really tough one. Losing your phone service alone would have set me off. Whining, crying, or whatever it took to get through, I’m glad you made it.


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